Being me....

So....its been a while hasn't it? Thought I ought to take some time to visit my forgotten friend. Look at me! Talking to my blogs like they were people! :P

So, just a small vent. Nothing terribly major or profound, just a minor (well, sort of) vent.

So being an empath REALLY can drive one around the bend. I swear, on multiple occasions I have wondered if I was suffering from either Bi-polar disorder or Schizophrenia. That is how fast my moods can vary in a blink of an eye. And its hard to deal with. You feel like you're drowning in emotions, and most often they are not even your own. So much so that its easy to lose yourself, to forget to feel personally. It came to a point I started to feel so numb that I think all I COULD feel was everyone else. Let me tell you, it is not cool.

I did, however, FINALLY manage to find my center, as it were. After a long time, I feel like myself. I finally took time to deal with my own feelings, and come to terms with things as they were. Finally created a moment for myself to just breathe, since I realised that I could not wait for life to give me one. So, I stopped and just took a breath; took stock of my life, and finally found a sense of inner peace. And I feel so much better. I'm glad I'm finally leaving those last remnants of my past behind and actually moving forward. I don't doubt that the blows will keep coming, but this time I will be standing, and I will face them with a smile that I will hold on to past the time I should frown, because that makes everything better. I will be the change I want to see, and no longer feel like the shell I'd become.

So, here's to hope; even when it seems like its not there anymore, even after you feel too scared to hope, and even when there just seems to be nothing that can make you hope anymore. Here's to powering on, to being a force of nature, and willing your life to improve despite the circumstances which continuously threaten it. Here's to the cockroaches and dragons; forever misunderstood, only ever on the fringes of being seen for what they are, and sometimes not even really transcending the bounds of mythology; but forever moving forward, surviving, and thriving. So till next time....